Friday, August 3, 2012

TMI: Leamur is not a morning person

Background: Quick video summary of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's stages of grief.

I travel this journey every morning.

bzzzzz...bzz...bzz...bzzzzz What the eff is that? No. Already? No, it can't be that time yet.
bzzzz...bzz...bzz...bzzzzz I do NOT have to get up yet. I need Snooze. Oh, shit, which one is snooze? Green? Yellow? Right, it's the yellow one on the bottom, that's snooze.
[snooze activated, head hits pillow with a thud. Tink sighs. I reach over, figure out where her head is & rub her.]

bzzzzz...bzz...bzz...bzzzzz DAMmit! Already?! That so did not feel like 10 minutes. I hate this, it's still dark out, just when you get into a good sleep this happens, where's the effing snooze? bzzzzz...bzz...bzz..--
But I hit snooze already!!!..--oh, alright.
[burrow deeper into covers, snuggle Tink, she gives a little groan]

bzzzzz...bzz...bzz...bzzzzz Aw, crap. Can I afford to do this once more? Maybe if I use the all-in-one instead of the shampoo and conditioner in two steps...Did I put my clothes in the bathroom already? Do I have a micro-meal, so I don't have to--- bzzzzz...bzz...bzz...bzzzzz I'll make it work. Snooze, snooze, there it is.
[thud, snuggle, Tink sighs pointedly and with emphasis this time]

bzzzzz...bzz...bzz...bzzzzz I can't face it, I can't. I'm going to be late. Again. It's not like anyone cares. The inevitable snooze owns me.
[roll over & rub Tink a little. She rolls onto her back because I'm supposed to rub the belly already. I do for a bit & then stop & start to nod off again. Tink licks my face to tell me I'm not done yet. I rub her belly some more then turn away so she can't get to my face to make me keep going.]

bzzzzz...bzz...bzz...bzzzzz Oh, man, I should've been up a half hour ago. Green is dismiss. Right. Done. OK, Tink, yes, more belly rubs. Yeah, sure, scritches there, too. Mmm-hmm.
[rub Tink a bit longer, get vertical, drink some water & take some vitamins, think how nice horizontal was, yearn for horizontal, fall to horizontal again with the excuse of scritching Tink some more, realize that she knows what I'm up to and that this is scritching as an excuse to stay horizontal, finally get up and stagger to bathroom.]

So now you know too much about my mornings. And why I can't ever get married. No one but Tink would put up with all that.

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